Tele belly

The other day, I got a sms from one of my friends asking for some medicines for his father who apparently had ‘loose stomach’. Without thinking twice, I wrote back instructing him to ask his father whether it was smelly, sticky and watery etc. Here is  the scene -  the father is a 60 year old, non- humorous, no-nonsense kind of a person who is presently making frequent trips to the loo and the helpless son with a one point agenda of completing my questionnaire, all set to interrogate his father with the earnestness of a newly joined FBI agent.

Son  - “Is your stools sticky?”

Father..( gives him a vague look) - “Why? .. I can’t tell since I don’t have the habit of peering into what goes into the pot"

Son ( musters some courage) – "Is it watery?"

Father – “Excuse me.. I thought loose meant just that”

Son ( thoroughly embarrassed by now, but continues undaunted) – "Is it smelly?”

Father ( shocked look...  his son who had never before even asked him how his general health was, now, is actually asking him whether his pottie is stinking -  “ ................”  

Son  – “Forget it”

Then the son telephones me as if is there was as emergency .. ‘ Doc  how can you make me enquire about my father’s pottie health?.. Can’t u suggest a pill which doesn’t  require those answers? 

I could have.. but com'on I am licensed to ask.  Anyways, I decided that will be my last gastro-entero-tele-phonic consultation. I am happy to be dealing with the matters of the heart. 

On a related note, you may want to take care when you travel to Thailand. Saw this sticker out there behind a cabbie's seat. No clues on a solution other than - 


                                                          'Stop the car, I want to break wind'