Vicky Donor or Picky choosers?

"Wanted  IITian sperm, healthy donor, no bad habits, tall and fair if possible but will consider the right donor regardless of looks etc. Time is of the essence, so please call asap. Compensation twenty thousand rupees cash" . This was online ad posted by a Chennai couple earlier this year. It amused me but not enough to write a blog. But with the new Bollywood movie ‘Vicky donor’ bringing in the topic of sperm donation and insemination to the Indian masses, I thought its time.

Are the IITians the most desirable for a good looking high IQ level progeny?  Considering the time that an average IIT student (for that matter any professional college student ) spends alone, watching porn, it’s better to sell it than ... you know… 'flush it down the drain’.  IITians are anyway going to take over the world in a few years. They are the ones who will write books, they are the ones who will crack CAT, manage MNCs, join politics, invent stuff etc. So no harm there asking for their sperms, but I would put my money on an IIM graduate, since most IITians anyways proceed to do a MBA.

We seem to have a choice here. Let me call it the ‘Cafeteria approach’.  We have the IIT sperm, the IIM sperm, then the medical college sperm. For a lower price we may have the Regional Engineering College sperms and other colleges.

Lets widen our net and look at other interesting sperm donor cohorts too .. IPL player or any  other young sports person, politicians, actors, models  or... wait a sec, how about a combination .. a cricketer turned politician or IIM graduate turned actor.  I recall a senior  gynecologist friend of mine who worked in a corporate hospital in Hyderabad telling me that in 1980's  their main donors were night watchmen (Poor guys.. what a job)  I guess, we have come a long way!!

Now about the cost, Rs 20,000  for an IITian ($400) seems to be a little low since a Ph.D in America gets around $500/ ejaculation as against a college degree holder who get $160. We could standardize the rate as we did for our capitation fees. For the IPL player sperms, we could go in for an auction.

Ironically, the World's largest sperm bank is the ‘California Cryobank’ in the United States, though India and China have the world's largest population. Four US sperm banks control 65 percent of the global sperm market and US exports sperm to over 60 countries. In short, American sperm rocks. This is one area where India has been caught with its pants up. Our men spend most of their time adjusting their crotches in public when they could be spreading the goodness around the world. Sadly, our ballgame is cricket.

In a way, it is good that Indians are not big time into sperm choosing.. or else we would have ads like.

'Wanted  sperms from fair, tall, good looking, healthy, successful, highly educated Religion - Hindu/ Muslim/ Christian,  Caste - Brahmin/ Rajput/ Reddy, Community -  Marathi/ Telugu/ Bengali,  with no family history of Obesity, Diabetes, BP, Cancer, premature baldness or greying'

 And marriage ads will be short and sweet

‘Wanted Rich Male'