ALL about BALLS

Warning - This blog may be a little offensive. Reader discretion required especially for those with XY chromosome 

There are a lot of short term interesting jobs people do before they settle for the final one. Mine was the brief stint as a Filariasis Research Officer in Pondicherry where I had to go to the study village every fortnightly, meet the guys whom we had given the drugs and enquire whether they had fever with swelling of their 'balls'. ( Side note - I wonder whether the word 'to testify' came from the word 'testis'... since our ancestors may have sworn on theirs balls before the Holy books were used for swearing!)  

Back to my story... Geezz.....There are things people do for money, but enquiring about Ball Health was a little over the top... or should I say under the bottom?  But People.. believe me, I did it for a noble cause so that we could preserve the contraption which houses the little bastards for procreation. 

That’s not all. If the unfortunate guy did have a swelling, then my team leader would  take him inside his house and then assess the size of his balls. Thankfully since I was a lady Medical officer, both the patient and I were spared of the trauma of peering into his privates in the confines of his own house. I don't know what the wives thought of me, but I thought that 'Tamilian lungis' were convenient in more ways than one!

Over a period of time, we developed our own system of ball measurement - Lemon size, Orange size, Melon size. Now don’t ask me why we went fruity about the nutties. The process came to be known as RBA (Rapid Ball Assessment) and I did'nt patent it. Though, textbooks do mention an extreme condition, thankfully, I did’nt encounter any elephant size balls requiring a wheel barrow to lug it around . Ugh..

Heard that the medical fraternity has plans to eliminate the condition by 2020... so till then I guess its only best wishes for the boys :-)

An old elephant joke from college days. 

Qtn -1 Why did the elephant paint his balls red?

Ans -1 'Cos he wanted to hide among the cherry bush

Qtn -2 How did Tarzan die?

Ans -2 He tried plucking cherries from the bush.

This one is a jewel ...

Latest statement from the Queen via Buckingham Palace UK

"We confirm that the water in the pool was very very cold...!! One would not call this a good representation of our “Crown Jewels” ...!!