Comedy of errors

I have nothing against stand-up comedians. I always thought that they were a harmless category of professionals until I attended a Food Awards Night at Hyderabad last Saturday. My friends and I reached the venue only to find the bar closed, since that seemed to be the only fool-proof method to get the audience seated. Cheers to the organizers, for having shut the only source entertainment for the evening.

Well, the program started. It was hosted by a so called celebrity anchor, who also doubled up as a stand-up comedian or was it vice versa. He embarked on this one-liner delivery mission, which were mostly anti-women and anti-marriage.  First off, why anti-woman jokes? Secondly why on marriage? Thirdly, why on food? and lastly Arre baba .. why the same old jokes from the internet?

Sample this - Why do married women put on weight and single women remain slim? The answer apparently is - Married women see what is on the bed and then go to the refrigerator and the single women see what’s in the refrigerator and then go to bed. I didn't find it funny even when I read it the first time... only an anorexic gay psychopath could have come with that one!  

Or this …If a man opens the car door, it means either the girl is new or the car is new.  Can’t he be my chauffeur, for Christ’s sake!

This one takes the cake....How does a man know that he has put on weight.. when the weighing scale says one a time please.This guy had completely forgotten that we were there to applaud the best eating places in the city and not on a weight reduction campaign.

This doling out of one-liners went on and on and we had to sit through it dolefully for two full hours, listening to all the emails forwards which we otherwise happily click and delete.  And then he started taking comedy to the next level, by making fun of the awardees, the chief guest and the audience.  The only person who laughed consistently at all the jokes was himself. Few others who were laughing, were laughing at him.  We couldn’t agree with him more when he said that “Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak”. It was then that we did what we should have done ages back….we made a quick and quiet exit to the food counter.

On the way back, one of my friends nicely summed it up. If you pay peanuts, you know what you get!