How to keep a guy

We girls sure know how to find a guy. The problem is keeping him. Here's short summary of Do’s and Don’t for preventing a break-up.

Do’s

1. Give him the complete control of the TV remote (Remember, they are used to holding things in their hand)
2. Be sure to disappear during Cricket/ Football matches (You cannot match upto to Tendulkar or Messi even if you ran around nude)
3. But be around and ready, when he is the mood for a little play (And you should appear sexy, excited and ready to fake)
4. Keep the house clean even if he does not notice. (He sure will if it is dirty)
5. Praise his Mom now and then, especially her cooking ( Even if her cooking skills are comparable to that of Dalai lama's)

Don’ts

1. Do not ask him where he was, where he is and where he is going ( In all probability he does not remember or even if he does he is going to lie)
2. Do not expect him to remember Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc (that’s too trivial an information for him to store and retrieve)
3. Do not ask him what he is thinking... (‘cos guys have the ability to be totally blank and not think, a skill which we women folk completely lack)
4. Do not expect any kind of praise, acknowledgement or gifts. (You are above all these)
5. Do not try to change him or his dress sense, hobbies, mannerisms (Try  bringing about environmental changes.. that may be may be easier)

(Sigh)  Break-up appears a lot easier doesn't it?