Marriage jokes and pokes

On the topic of marriage if there is one thing common about marriages across the world, its all the funny jokes ridiculing married life. Some of these may be true, some aren't. But to find out which apply to you, you gotta get married first, which apparently everyone does. One cannot be happy always, they have get married sometime !!


Lets begin with the wedding ceremony itself. This one is classic. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.... It's called a Wedding Cake! In India, would that be the mother-in laws Welcome kheer?  Regarding the wedding parties, the current rationale is 'If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable' I could agree here. Of course some people do mention on their invitation 'Avoid gifts please' but you should read between the lines.. they mean ' Guys, we may not like your choice, so give us cash' 


Moving over to the choice of person , said one woman to another at a cocktail party, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."  There is an equivalent for the guys -  'Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that'


Then there are ones on staying married. This is one of my favorites 
Qtn - Why do married women put on weight and the single stay slim?
Ans - The single woman sees whats in her fridge and goes to the bed ..the married see whats on her bed and then goes to the fridge 


In defence of men, here's one to counter the above. 
Man: Is there any way for long life?
Doctor: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Doctor: No, but the thought of long life will never come.


The list is endless... the message however is not pointless

Marriage is like a toilet. Whoever is outside, is desperate to get inside and whoever has been in there, is desperate to get out