The day Indians start using toilet paper

Time again to travel .. this time to US. My husband had let his first passport with 10 year validity, expire without a single visa stamping. That was before he met me. Now he is on the third passport within the same validity period since the pages got full. He has gotten so used to international travel. He has the same check-in bag whether we are off to Calcutta or Canada. But for international travel, he carries a small backpack with a quintessential empty mineral water bottle. Yes … AN EMPTY WATER BOTTLE!!  Am sure you have understood where am coming to - the empty bottle is a refill for butt-washing. The security check guys must be finding this weird. Others empty the water and throw the bottle ... whereas we throw the water and keep the empty bottle. 

I found this habit regressive initially ... Not anymore. 

Want to know why? - If every Indian starts using toilet papers, we would have to cut around 6 billion trees annually just for cleaning the tushies. At this rate we will cause more damage to the Earth than any other country can possible do.

An American or a Brit, who has only ever seen a toilet roll next to a toilet, may travel abroad and find one of the five following devices at his or her disposal.

• A porcelain bidet
• A bucket or barrel of water with a scooper ( found in most parts of India. Recently found this in 10 Downing St.. no .. not the one in UK.. but an upmarket night club in Hyderabad.. yes folks Hyderabad is having water problems )
• A shower spray called the health faucet (some call it bum shower)
• An electronic toilet seat that dispenses sprays or jets of warm water and may also air-dry the area (found this in Korea and Japan) 
• A pipe that shoots water upwards. (this one is tricky 'cos requires right placement)

There may be more systems than these five, but these are the common alternatives to simply using dry tissue paper to clean up. In rural and suburban India, it is not uncommon to see open air defecation ... railway track being an optional luxury. Quoting my dear friend George - 'Why do women cover their faces with the saree when pooping on the railway track?  Answer- One can identilfy the face.... but not the base!

Let us understand why westerners started using toilet papers. Using water to clean up was a bit uncomfortable out there due to the cold climate. Try cleaning your privates with ice cold water on a chill morning weather. Moreover, their food had less water content and their feces could be cleaned off easily with tissue papers as it was less messy. Wondering what they did before toilet paper?  ... well they used corncobs, sea shells, leaves and other natural resources.

But in a tropical country like India or other South East Asian countries, the usage of tissue papers to clean up could be considered nothing less than aping the western culture sans logic. Indian food has 70% water content and the poop is 85% water. It’s really messy to clean with tissue papers and that’s why we have been using water for many generations and we have been doing good.

If the westerners scoff at our habits, we have only to retort back that behind every half-clean tissue-wiped bottom are thousands of others using water to clean theirs. We , Indians, care for the environment ... butt naturally !!