Dear Mrs Sonia,
We have never met and I don’t intend to. My purpose of writing to you is that your party has not been doing well of late. And I seem to have the SECRET FOR TURNING YOUR FORTUNE AROUND.
Before you start thinking ‘WTH is this female?’ please hear me out. My proposal is simple, easy and cheap. And most importantly IT HAS NEVER FAILED.
Here it is - 'You should get yourself addressed as a family member' It worked for Mamta Didi, Jayalalithaa Amma, Mayawathi Behenji and Sheila Auntie. India is a very family oriented nation. We have deep rooted family values and will vote only for someone we identify as family. Don’t you remember in Singur land case, how the affected ran to Mamta with their hands up in the air and cried ‘Didi, my life has finished!’. In Amma’s case, haven’t you seen senior ministers fall at her feet in public meetings seeking ‘motherly' blessings. And in Mayawati's case, when the Security Officer found his Behenji shoes dirty, he did’nt think twice to use his handkerchief to clean it. Would he have done it, if he didn’t feel brotherly?
If it worked for all these people, it will surely work for you and your son Rahul. You can choose to be a mother, sister, daughter, daughter-in-law. Or you can even do a female Al Pacino and don the GODmother mantle. It's completely your choice, but you have to get rid of the ‘Madame’ title asap. It is as gone as Madame Curie … ( and so are the Xrays with the advent of CTs and MRIs) Moreover, Madame means something else in Indian English and I don’t think you want to go to the election again with that connotation
You could call yourself Mamma Sonia if you were in Italy. Out here, you could try Sonia Mausi or even Chachi Sonia.... aah..remember, your great grandpa-in-law was fondly called Chacha. Alternatively you can ask your ministers who are either in the ‘busy-making-money’ or ‘waiting-to-die’ category for their opinion. Hhmmm... I guess they will say yes to the 'High command'
All the very best
Yours
VJ
I think CHACHI SONIA is a great name ;-)
ReplyDeleteGreat entry into the political arena Sadhna and real good tips to highest in power. Keep it up!!- From Dr.RR (Chennai)
ReplyDeletewill show this blog to Madame ;)
ReplyDelete@ Kabba.. didn't know you had access to Madame.... could have handed over the letter to you then
ReplyDeletewould love to hear your opinion on why a certain Mr. Robert Vadera (WTF) is exempt from security checks at our airports along with the likes of the President of India.....check out the photographic evidence of a G.O. posted at one of our airports in my facebook
ReplyDeletewell...madame sounds most appealing for the gracious lady..others are true to their titles in their outlook....but to Indianise then maybe chaachi madame!
ReplyDelete@BV ... Yes.. that’s truly disgusting. But who is gonna fast to ensure that he does not waltz through the security check the next time? And if it any consolation, that is applicable only if accompanied by a person enjoying SPG protection, like wife Priyanka or Sonia Gandhi and Rahul.
ReplyDeleteHere are some lesser known facts about him - He may have met Priyanka Gandhi,at the house of common expatriate friend Ottavio Quattrocchi. His sister died in a car accident in 2001, his brother was found dead in 2003 and father committed suicide in 2009. Eerie!! .
But with almost all titles taken away, there seems to be less to choose from. I nominate "Mother in law of the country" for her title.......coz she cannot be mother (already taken away) or bahu (well, who wants a 70 yr old bahu) and so on......Mother in Law sounds both powerful and respectful and moreover...very befitting her style....
ReplyDeleteV